she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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