What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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