He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
