Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
