someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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