if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
When did angry sex become our thing?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
