How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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