Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
