we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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