I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Someone came in the potted fern
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
