I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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