My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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