there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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