fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
