After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize