My brain says no but my pants say off.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
