You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
