I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
