shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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