I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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