there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
