Plan B is the new Plan A
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
