come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
