oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
