Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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