Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
