He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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