I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
