i don't like sucking hair
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
