I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
