i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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