I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
