There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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