the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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