Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize