It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
