she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
