So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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