Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
