the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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