yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
