I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
