I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you win again, gameday.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
