it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
