Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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