Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
