my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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