'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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