he was CRYING into my vagina
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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