hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
You smell like stripper and shame
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
