I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize