Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
