Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
