sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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