They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'd cum for enchiladas.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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