Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
