Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
