I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
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My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
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I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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