Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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