U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
