she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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