My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
